Finding Our Normal

Tomorrow marks an incredible day in our family's journey - we will once again be separated.  But it also highlights how tomorrow isn't the first time we've gone through this routine of goodbyes.  And while this transition is so foreign to so many of my friends, neighbors and relatives - its our normal.

I hate goodbyes.  I am the person who will avoid going to someone's going away dinner just so I can fade away instead of give them a goodbye hug.  I don't like the word, I don't like the action, and I really don't like the feeling.  And it's probably because I've had to say it so many times in my life.  But the worst goodbye is having to see my husband walk away from me (or drive away) and know that the next day, I won't get to hug him like I want.  Its a selfish feeling, and for that, I feel even worse.

Tomorrow, Avery and I will have to adjust again to what normal is in our family.  Normal will become Skype phone calls, and once a month visits to the airport.  Normal will become stillness in the house at 9pm, when she goes to sleep.  Normal will become me playing good cop and bad cop.  Normal will become rearranging schedules to make every track meet and karate practice.  Normal will be trying to be the perfect parent that the two of us usually are together.

And normal will become having to get used to monthly goodbyes.  Those goodbyes I hate.  Because each month, I will have to go through the routine of hugging my husband one more time and say, "see you next time."