One Year Later

I disappeared this summer, for good reason.  I needed to clear my mind, I needed to make decisions and I needed to reevaluate if being a geo-bachelor wife was really for me.

Wait.  Before you get all, "oh my gosh, they're getting a divorce" on me, stop right there!  That's not what I'm saying!  Instead, let me remind you, or explain to those newer to my blog.

One year ago, when my husband moved out to California, I made him a promise that we'd give this lifestyle a year.  A year to see where I was at in my career, where Avery was at with school, and where he was at with the distance.  Instead of us taking this head on for four years total, we decided to bite it off in more manageable chunks.  One year still was a lot to take in, a lot can happen (and did), but it was a lot better sounding to all of us.

So now that the year has passed, what did we decide?  Are we staying or are we moving?

Before I divulge our decision, let's look back on what we've been through as a geo-bach family:

1. Avery started middle school

Wow - our baby, our one and only, started a new chapter on her life.  It wasn't easy, especially her third quarter which took a strange turn for the decline.  But she ended on a high note - three out of four quarters on honor roll!  She kept some of her friends from elementary and made a bunch of new ones.

Middle school is rough, but she did great!  I'm proud of her, and I know Kevin is, too!

2.  I became President of a 275-member organization

Crazy how looking back 6 years ago, when I moved to Denver, I was a newbie in this local organization, and now I am finishing off a year of being President of the local chapter. That experience taught me so much about my own self, and pushed me outside my own comforts.  When you are leading a chapter of volunteers, anything can happen!  It was a great opportunity, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

3.  I traveled - a lot

When I was little, I wanted to be a flight attendant (this was a secret dream of mine - to fly the friendly skies).  I wanted to explore the world and meet new people.  While I'm still not a flight attendant, I booked more air miles than I ever have in one year. Beyond just trips back and forth to California, I was able to travel for work and fun.  I made new friends and explored new cities.  It was a great opportunity, and one I see will continue to happen in my future.  I already have more trips booked in the near future.

4.  I learned I was stronger than I thought

I didn't think I could be separated from my partner.  He's my rock.  He holds me up when I can't stand anymore.  To be separated from him was excruciating at times, but I learned so much about myself, that I could persevere.  You may not know this, but I have never lived alone in my life.  I moved straight from underneath my parents' shelter to underneath my husbands'.  This was the first time I really had to step up and take charge.  Scary, isn't it?

5.  I communicated

No more slamming doors or cell phones.  No more running away from my feelings.  I've had to stop and assess what I really want out of a marriage.  What I really want is a partner.  What I found was a partner.  Kevin and I have grown so much this year, together, not a part.

6.  I am happy

It may not seem it day to day, but I am happy with the way things are. Yes, being together would be a whole lot better, but there are a lot of alternatives that are worse.  Our family enjoys our time together and we make the most of it.

So do I stay or do I go?  

I'm staying, right here, right now.  Tomorrow may bring me a different answer, but as of today and where I'm at, I'm staying.

This year was long, it was hard on all of us, but it didn't hurt our marriage or Avery's relationship with her dad.  It brought us closer and we bonded over distance.  We trust each other more now and appreciate what we have more.  We have each other, and that's what matters.